School starts tomorrow &I can only hope that I'm ready for whatever is coming my way. This year is going to be tough: I expect that. I expect that grade 12 is going to take a lot of work but it can be made into fun as long as I don't get caught up in the difficulty of losing energy. Does that make sense?
Yesterday I went out &bought some makeup &a new bag, various school supplies &some of the usual products I use for my everyday 'pampering.' Yeah I could have gotten more but I want to ease myself into this year - at this point I am so afraid to get hurt the only things I don't have to be coaxed into are high heels &lots of alcohol. If those things don't make this year fun I have no idea what can.
I'm a little anxious to see how everything is going to play out with courses, &social groups. I think it should be fine but you never know who's made up their friendship over the summer. I can't take the same bus with my friends anymore so everything is going to be a little different. I'll spend lunches with Merrissa or Jessica I'm guessing - as I always do, but any other events associated outside of school will have to be planned about a week in advance. I already haven't used my msn calender so much &school hasn't even begun!
Since I got on the topic of friendships relationships are going to be something that becomes more important throughtout this school year. Every year that goes by I am one step farther away from finding someone &one step closer to my deadline. Right now I'd rather just have something fun &less serious than what it's been. I'd like to enjoy my last year of high school as much as possible &I don't need any bad breakups getting in the way of my fun. Honestly I'd be happy with a fuck &chuck, okay maybe cross the chuck part ¬ even begin dating in the first place. But I'm ready to step in the pond again I think: toes first of course - you've gotta test the water.

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