i just realised that my mind plays serious tricks on me. i was watching a video & it really made me open my eyes as to how i'm acting & that i really need to get over ex boyfriends. basically the video was a girl talking about exs & how they treat girls & how we can get over them & watching it made me get mad at myself & happy at the same time.
essentially what the girl in the video was saying was that we blame ourselves & there really is no need for that. being as young as i am i shouldn't be expecting to meet the person i'm going to be with for the rest of my life yet. hell i thought that i would meet the right person when i was 15. & it was really a huge wake up call for me. it was everything i needed to hear in the moment. i feel really cleansed now & i think i might be ready to move on.
my friends had been telling me the same things that were being said in the video but at the time they were telling me was when i really didn't want to hear it. i've written in here plenty of times complaining about guys & suffering because of them & talking about how i don't want to anymore.
i guess hearing what this girl had to say in that moment was the perfect time & it just made me feel like an idiot for not listening to my friends but oh well. now's the time i think i can build myself up & instead of picking the pieces up & putting them back together... i'm going to forge a new person myself. the person i always wanted to be instead of being what other people want & like.
i'm living for me now.

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