I know this should hurt, but after trying to forget about it, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal anymore, to have to pretend. But I am doing better. I haven’t cried for 23 hours. I just keep telling myself it’s going to be ok & I really have nothing to worry about. It’s not worth my time spent wasting tears. I had a hard time talking to them on the phone this morning. Yet another day I’ve been awoken by the phone. It’s not that I want them to stop calling, but I find it hard every morning to wake up hearing the ring of the phone & then end up answering, & having to hear their voice. It shows me I cannot trust anything they have to say. But then, when they call again, when the day is ending… they’re happy. They’re happy enjoying their life & acting as if nothing was a big deal. But would they even change their mind if they knew how I felt?
Disclaimer
It is your choice whether or not to read this diary. The most I can ask is that you do not question me about it - I would rather not know if you have been reading it at all or even how you came to find it. Everything I have posted in this diary is what I had been thinking at the exact time I posted it. This diary is for me personally, and me alone. If I have written something you dislike: stop reading.
