Why have I been having such bad nights lately?
I used to think moving might be a good thing &now I'm not so sure. My parents took an apartment last night (they saw it in May) without even asking me. I realize that we were getting to the point of desperation but that just makes me feel as if what I want doesn't matter.
Yesterday we spent the whole day driving &walking &eating. 8:14A I wake up &get ready to leave. 9:00A we leave &go to McDonald's for breakfast. We take a trip to the closest nature park &becah after picking a few drinks up at Tim Hortons. So we get there &kill almost an hour by letting MaiLing go for a run. Then we leave for another park in a small country area almost outside the city. There we walked along trails getting photos of the falls &a beach until we get back at a little after 1P. So we're looking for phones to call this Anthony person. He's the landlord of another apartment we wanted to look at. He gave us an appointment to see it &directions on getting there. I wanted to see the house so we get there &the apartment my parents thought it was isn't the one Anthony owns. What we were looking at was a nice 3apt 3level yellow building with balconys. Anthony owns a 5apt building on the opposite side of the street. It was mustard &brown in colour &I don't want to even think of what the driveway would be like in the winter time. &since my father got the idea of a ellow home - it doesn't surprise me that's what were ending up moving into. So now we're cancelling the appointment we made &moving into this other place. It's definately farther away then where I would like to have been. I live on the upper-lower west side. Basically I'm in between upper &lower west because my street kind of divides the two. This new apartment would be on the upper west side so I would have to take a different bus - alone. It sucks but at least I'm not leaving my city.
Anyway after looking at this apartment we drove around the city some more - going to general parks that we haven't been to just to see how they've changed. I was starving so we went to some fast food place that I'd never been to before. We had to wait but at least the food was pretty fresh. By this time it's 5P &we can g home.
When we got home 3 doors were open (back &front - only the screen door was shut) &we walk inside to get rid of all the garbage we had in the car &people are still looking at the apartment in the basement &living room. They were sitting on my couch &chairs as if they were invited to stay while. So mom immediately picks up the phone to make a call while dad is cleaning, MaiLing is barking &I'm shutting doors &turning off lights. This is pretty much our way of saying get out without freaking out at them. After being out of our house for 8 hours wasting time &money when we didn't have to I think we had the right to be a little angry.
The phone was ringing off the hook until 11P. What a fucking day. But I can't forget to mention the worst part: people were telling me my photos were ugly &that I should work on my site. get typing online to Justin finding out he has a crush on some girl. &that the boy I was really beginning to like got a girlfriend. This sucks. &I don't know what I have to live for right now. Suffering &getting nothing for it.