2005-12-08 @ 8:10 p.m.
It isn't that I want to be alone-it's just that I don't want to have replacement friends or boyfriends or parents right now.
I'm trying to do the best I can & half the people are on my side & half aren't. I guess I'm better off alone?
It's difficult to think of how there won't be any more...wicked dances, kissing sessions, nights of talking on the phone for hours, notes to pass back, times when I get to tell you how great you smell, chances to hear you sing to me-no matter how bad they would have been, times when I'm so tired you just let me lay on you, amazing hugs, nights of staying out in the cold just to spend more time alone, times I get to run my fingers through your hair or taking random but cute pictures of things. I'll miss it so much, & if I could have another chance, I would never do any of the bad things again if it meant making you happy. But I guess I'm just not capable of that anymore-no matter what I say or how hard I try to keep my belief in soulmates. I'm living a half life now.
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