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Tangent
2005-05-23 @ 8:24 p.m.


I want to write the most amazing piece of literature youíve ever fucking read. I want to write something that will make you, my friends, vomit on yourselves & cry tears of joy at the exact same second. I want it to be perverted, & sadistic but still funny. That probably sounds sick to you, & I love it.

Everything that if you knew about me youíd drop dead shocked
I think too much
-especially about you. (But I wouldnít call it an obsession)
--because words cannot describe enough.

As I let my nail polish chip off I will occasionally repaint over it (never repairing)

Music was my first true love. * Wink *
-anybody who knows anything about me knows that.

I cry a lot.
-even though you guys might not have guessed it.

I get a bad vibe from mirrors in dark rooms.

I chew at least 10 pieces of gum a day
-& Iím trying to cut back.

I grow attached to people if I find them memorable
-which means I would miss them easily also.

I never bite my nails
-but I do run them across my lips a lot.

When Iím nervous I play with my ears
-usually my left one, & the more nervous I am the harder I tug on it.

I donít care what other people think of me
-as long as they keep it to themselves.

I still kept all the Barbies Iíve ever owned since I was younger.

I over-think things.
I try to hide my true emotions
-more often from the people I donít trust.

I fear nothing.

I donít like talking about the ground
-it makes me concentrate on it & I feel like Iím in one of those zombie movies.

I donít know the true meaning of the word congregate.

I do not know everything, like other people tend to claim
-nor do I claim I do.

I am your stalker
-well, I was

I hate writing with a blue pen
-even though thatís pretty much all I write with.

I wear my sunglasses at night.

I write about myself a lot
-Iím sure youíve noticed that by now.

Iím a good ego-booster
-Iíve learned to do that for myself too.

I love making collages
-I create a new one every month if I can.

I mix nail polishes together hoping to get a new colour I can use
-it never really works out.

I get lonely a lot
-I always have, & it seems that being alone more doesnít help this fact.

I know when people are lying to me.

I was
-a cutter
--a scratcher
---bulimic
----a bully
-----insecure
all in one year.

I am a better person everyday.

I crave a certain amount of caffeine everyday to prevent me from having headaches.

I can tell when someone is trying to hide something from me.

I will get to know you better
-I promise.

Art is my passion, but Music is my life.

When I was younger I hated the Backstreet boys but loved the Spice Girls.

Some people say Iím a very selfish person
-but I like to give too. I would rather call it competitiveness.

At the age of 13, I developed a fear of phones.

I have never crashed a car or been in a car accident & I intend it to stay that way.

When I was little I kept a small bag of a few clothes, toys, & necessities in my closet
-Iím not sure exactly why I did this, I think it was because I was afraid my house would get on fire & if that happened I would lose everything
--If that wasnít the reason I defiantly had thoughts of running away.

As far as I can remember, Iíve only gotten detention twice, in all my days of school
-I havenít been expelled or suspended either.

When I am sad, I eat a chocolate, sometimes a cookie
-it always seems to make me feel better too. Instant anti-depressant.

I really hoped I could think of something better than that^ but with the house creaking, walls vibrating, & rain pounding at the windows, this is the best I could do. Bleh. Iím defiantly going back to the old life nowÖ

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Staind-Itís Been Awhile

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