for Caleb
2007-07 @ 1:51P

I miss you & I wish it was as easy to say as it is to write. I miss everyday not speaking with you. Though there are other guys they're not like you. I guess I'm afraid to talk again because I don't want to know how fine you are without me-or how miserable I am without you. Since the death of our communicatin I've been hurting, sorry, desperate, emotional, verging on depression, eating (almost constantly) & not eating (on binge) & generally feeling sorry for myself & what I've done. You gave me hope, advice, inspiration, & more than enough reasons to carry on but when things just stopped: all of that did too. I want to tell you so much - things you probably already know & maybe some you don't know but most of all I don't want us to end the way we did, but to you it probably doesn't matter does it?


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