capture you when the warmth comes
2008-12-02 @ 4:56P

My yearly December winter themed shoot is coming up soon - i`m itching to take more photographs. Not just plain photos of everyday things but good pictures. Artwork. i think i need to make some more time to routinely draw & take photos. i used to do it so often & now only once in awhile. i don`t want to be one of those people who loses sight of their dreams because they become too busy.
i am needing time for family & friends now more than ever. & it`s ever so difficult when work is only needing me more & more. i suppose once the new hires learn how to do things there will probably be much less for me to do. My mother`s birthday is next Monday & i have only picked up one mediocre gift & card. What shall i do!? Too much to do in not enough time, but i always try to enjoy myself while doing it. i do not like to think of christmas as a setback but in many ways it is. nevertheless i am going to need a holiday. i think everyone does & that`s why this time of year is still promoted & practiced in so many religions. if we didn`t need christmas we certainly would not participate in it...if you need proof just look at "Valentine's Day".
Every week i find less & less time for myself to do nothing. That`s alright - i like having plans, & things to do it makes life feel as though it`s got a purpose & a point, but some days i would rather do nothing. i don`t want to get caught in the hamster wheel effect so many people get into this time of the year.
Today i was lucky & did get a day off to do nothing, & nothing i did. With the exception of picking out outfits & making a couple phone calls, taking the dog out. That is very little to do but all day i made sure to keep the windows open & the christmas music playing. Working in retail really keeps you in the spirit especially when our shop is constantly playing the tunes & everyone around you is talking about their plans. Sometimes i just need a whole day to take for myself & just waste time.
Tonight i`m going to see one of my close friends from high school apartments she just moved out to her own place (or shared with her boyfriend rather) i can`t wait to see it & she can`t wait to show me. We plan on doing some silly amateur photoshoots like always & than thrifting for our own incredibly obnoxious christmas sweaters. in the future years i may even begin to collect these if not christmas holidays - than halloween.
Bad news struck last month & my grampie now has prostate & bone cancer. He refused an operation & is now taking needles once every three months or so for as long as they can afford it. One downside you never hear about to the healthcare in Canada is that once your income is so high you can`t get coverage on certain things. i am upset about surgery but totally accept since i have had enough experiences like this & understand. i suppose if having triple by-pass doesn`t wake you up nothing will. i hope that i can get some time off even just enough to go see him.
That being said there are a lot of ups & downs & i am gradually having less fear of what i post here. i am doubting anyone i do not want to read this diary still does anyhow. i mean if i wanted them to read it i would just showcase it on myspace, but i don`t & i hope i`ve made that clear if they ever come on here to snoop again.

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