i`ve been more wary of what i watch lately, but sometimes i see things in movies or videos that are so intense it`s almost like i leave my body & i`m on the outside looking in. maybe i`ve become numb again; where instead of feeling apathetic & compassionate i`m at the opposite end of the spectrum almost feeling as if the things you see have already happened to me. it`s strange & you kind of get a natural high off it. it makes me think: i am prone to addiction too & what you once thought was sick becomes a lot more understandable, but i still choose who i want to be despite the feelings & the similarities: it all starts with a choice.

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