no quarter
2007-12-27 @ 12:45A

It's a quarter til 1AM & I`m standing outside - in the cool snow letting the air give my skin goosebumps. This is s'posetabe a storm? There`s no traffic on this street & the plows haven`t gone by yet, it`s only me & the snow not even a few passersby; all iscalm, cool, & serene with only the simple dim glow of festive tree lights against the pale shimmery winter white.
"You're out here alone?!" I barely recognize the voice of the boy I`ve only just met: he`s cute;my type. I light up a cigarette & deeply exhale I only smoke when I drink you know, & this time i`m extremely drunk
I haven`t the heart to waste this but I`m also much too weak to pick up another bad habit.
"I`m not really into the crowds." I finally reply whilst letting the cigarrette burn down held between my chilled fingers. & all good parties go hand in hand with crowds I can hear him approach me from behind without looking - his sneakers weren`t meant for trudging through heavy snow such as the type lying on the ground. "I get that."
I inhale heavily & can smell the winter air with a faint undertone of alcohol - it chills my nose but I don`t mind. We stood there together for a moment listening to the gentle snowfall lightly hitting the rest that lay beneath our feet - it`s not really a sou nd you can appreciate until you`ve heard it without other interruptions. I turn to face him & ask if he intends on staying the night. As I pass the cigarette to him & noticing my badly chipped nails I quickly lower my arm & pull my mitten side up over my fingertips. "I don`t know. What are you doing?"
"I don`t know."
If I hadn`t conjured a smile he might have thought me rude. He shuffles his feet like all theose shy teenage boys do sometimes. "It`s just a question. You aren`t getting ideas are you?" "I wouldn`t get ideas if you didn`t give them to me." His face started to turn very pale with the exception of his nose & cheeks.
I did not mean to push him away, but I did not think I would be spending the night either - the choice is up to Dave really - it is after all his house. I know I did not bring but what clothing I had on & I had nothing fit for staying the night. The wind started playing with my hair so I decided to head back inside - a few couples had left the party since the time I came out to the yard. "It`s probably a lot less crowded in there now." Another 2 people emerged from the doorway cell phones in hand & entered their car. "Yeah; let's head back."
& We did.

previous - next