2006-07-30 @ 1:31 p.m.
I always dread getting a year older. I guess it's because nothing I want to do within the year seems to get done. I can feel (&see) myself changing moreso in my mind. I'm no longer lacking in self confidence as I was three, two or even one year ago. There are so many things I have experienced &still so much more left to come. So I'd like to make a list of the things I want to accomplish before I turn eighteen, it will be a long one so that I can avoid failure this time around.
Turning 16 wasn't as great as it's cracked up to be. In fact eleventh grade ended up being one of the worst for me. But I'll be 17 in two days, &I won't have to worry about the past anymore. It's like the beginning of a new year. I get to refresh my look, my thinking &mindset, my school work, my relationships: in essence myself &my life.
It feels like the perfect time to be born. My path in life is starting to lay itself before my &it's exciting because I still don't know where it will exactly lead to. That's the best part of being this age. You're developing yourself, &forming your future at once. At 17 you still aren't completely 'set' in your life. You still have choices to make &new roads you can follow.
I think I'm most excited about this years birthday is because I'll be getting closure during it. I'll loosen up with everyone &make more friends. The friends I was already close with will become closer &in the end you get to see what happens to them. There is so much to look forward to: school activities, vacations, getaways, meeting new people, seeing old friends you didn't during the summer, forming new relationships, getting involved &getting awards, prom, graduating; it's all going to come so fast; but that's exactly how I want it to.
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