never leave hurt alone
2006-06-08 @ 11:21P

Neraly all of my entries have been very depressing but I need to get my feelings out somehow becuase everyone knows I try not to show what I'm really feeling. If I had someone I could relate to or just talk to I wouldn't have to write so many extremely painful entries in here. &that's what's sad because when I look back maybe five years from now all I will remember was the bad times. &everyone knows that isn't healty for your brain. Family, friends &some potential lovers say that they will always be there for me. But they aren't. Everytime I try to tell someone anything deep they either cut me off, don't even listen, or change the subject. Nobody really cares about me. I'm constantly wondering if the people who ask me to sign their yearbooks actually like me as a person or just want it to look like they have more friends. Will they remember me or do they even care? I desperately want to say goodbye. It's so hard to be without anyone by your side. Is there even any point in me living anymore? Everyday I think if it hadn't of been Leo it would have been me. &it should have been me because far less people would have been hurt that way. I wish we could go back in time &trade up. Nobody wants me around anymore.

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