We Be Burnin'
2006-05-03 @ 11:38P

On a positvie note my great grandfather still has hope; he was asking he his birthday was last week. That gives me hope in my life. I'm glad he's not giving up but it's going to be harder to deal with when he dies.
I wish I had someone I could vent to. Nobody wants to hear about my probmels & help me with them - they would all rather lisnen & make me feel worse about it after. I rejected your invite because I'm not going to seem needy. I know you would most likely turn me down or make an excuse later anyway. So I turned the game around on you, chances are you just asked me to be nice anyway & didn't want me there to begin with. Why can't I be good enough for anyone? Some days I just think about that & end up driving myself crazy. I'm regaining my confidence a little, at least in myself - other people will come eventually. fake it til you make it as my daddy always seems to be saying lately. I wish I could talk to him about things. They pretend like they care but they don't. I want to talk with someone who knows me but it seems like none of them care anymore, I hate going over my life story with every person I meet but they just don't seem to get me if I don't. I want to talk to you, seth. But I guess you don't have the time to read this anymore. I don't think anyone does. I suppose that's a good thing because I doubt I'd be able to deal with it, & if they did they would likely confront me. But really I haven't done anything wrong. Although I know if I found they wrote the same things about me as I have for them I would be pretty hurt. I'm sick of being such a sensitive, emotional person. I miss the days when everything felt numb, like you never missed out on anything, & you'd never suffer after love.

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