I miss having guys around. Not the typical guy friends I'm used to but the closer relationships like the one I had with seth. I'm so used to sharing all of my thoughts & feelings with a guy that now that I don't have anyone I feel like I'm completely alone. I don't have that special person I could tell anything to anymore. & I miss it. I can't tell anyone anything without them going & running their mouths. I know all the girls I talk to would do that so I'm forced to keep it all inside. I love this diary for what it's worth but it can't hold me & comfort me like a girlfriend or boyfriend could. I'm still forced to cry but every night I try harder to hold in. I'm really glad it doesn't show when I'm anywhere else. ( Thanks for telling me that Leah. )

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