free falling
2006-04-24 @ 10:00P

When I was looking for a pen today inside my beside drawer I found an old journal that I forgot to get rid of. My last date in it was December tenth, 2005. I'd owned it for almost a full year. I did browse theough it a little since I'd forgotten the things I had writtin inside it. So what was inside mostly consisted of goals, some particularily for the month I was grounded for during last Summer. I noticed that none of them were completed & realized how caught up I was with Justin. I literally thought about him all day - it's funny, that was almost a year ago but nothing has changed. Then I got to a part where water was split & the ink ran so I couldn't read anything but then I found this:
he said he was going to stop talking to girls for me & yet he continued to talk with her
he said he was going to start thinking
he said "I'm sorry"
he flirted with her because he "didn't know what to do"
he did the same thing four times & begged for my forgiveness
he said I'm his one true love
It took me a little while to figure out what this was about & I know I was angry at the time but I can only laugh about it now. I guess that's one mistake I've learned from - if it counts. The last thing I found was a weird collaboration of numbers & letters somehow Justin & I equal seventeen & Jeff & I also equal seventeen. There were other matches but those two I found odd as they were the only two that were the same. I didn't realize how much I've grown. I guess that's a good thing. I just hope I can find another guy like one of them again.

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