Maybe I'm Amazed
2006-04-13 @ 5:30 p.m.

I'm unsure if I mentioned this before but I've made quite a few important decisions. It seems like so much has been happening in this past week - I don't really know where do begin or how I should be thinking. Truthfully this entire week has felt like an emotional rollercoaster.

ever since i got dumped last ive been feeling way more emotions, even before that a few months] but now its more intense.
my dad is getting a different job probably, we will still have to move, stay in the same town but i wont be close to 'my friends' although i never see them outside of school anyway. my great grandfather still lives so it looks like there won't be any funeral this weekend. that was stressful. its a lot to hold onto mentally. so much death around me recently. i've decided I'll go to uni here & continue living with my parents - trying for a business degree for the next 4 years. that way everybody will be happy & get what they want, well except for me. But whatever. who cares about my happiness right. poor me. so I've also decided that I'll skip on trying to take an interest test too. our nice guidance counsellor left. i doubt I'll be going there as much anymore. I know what my requirements are anyway::
English [that I'm in progress with now] & 122
Math 112 or higher level course 2 [aka functions & relations]
Math 122 or higher [aka trig & 3space]
Advanced Math including Intro to Calculus
& as long as I take those courses & complete them successfully with an average of around 60-70% in total [?] I have a good chance of being accepted. My only problem right now is that I'm failing Math 112 course 2 with a 54 because our teacher hasn't been teaching us so we've been with substitutes for the past month or so. But I'll try harder when our real teacher comes back & I'm sure he'd give me a 60% & that's all I need. Especially since that's the only class which I'm failing.

ive never been good at math. ever.
So even though I still have no idea for what career I'd like to have & where I'd like to live - it's a better start than what i was thinking about before. I've made peace with the issues of my future that have been haunting me forever & i'm accepting the fact that we need to move. i'm getting a more positive outlook on what's going on in my life lately because of those decisions...i hope...i hope everything goes as planned...

Then again it could just be all the chocolate, caffeine & stimulants, drugs, i've had today kicking in...

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