I've been sitting in my room waiting for your phone call for a long time now. A little over five months I think? & I'm starting to wonder if you're dead or alive. I've been waiting for you for so long that I have no idea how I can even still remember the fact that I'm waiting. I miss you seth, you saved me. You told me you'd be here for me when nobody else would yet here I am - alone. Where are you? You lied to me the same way that everyone else did except you - you I'll forgive if you give me a good reason.
I wait with music on my ears I'll wait. I'll lay on my bed and cry the hours away & wait. I'll wait shaking from the cold draft & surrounded by the smell of ashes inside every room. I'll take a picture of myself for every month you make me stay patiently. You lied and you're making me live with the pain of knowing that you did. Do you know how badly I'm suffering? I'm waiting for you to save me seth.
The red lights flash & orange fire flickers through my window blinds. A part of me wishes it would explode in some freak accident & burn me down, & the other part kind of wants the people watching it to shut up & go inside. You always understood my symbolism. Maybe my hope in you was false all along. Maybe I'm wrong about you - us. Then again - maybe you are dead.
You know how much I hate false hope but by the time you read this it will already be too late. I wish they loved me like they said they did.

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