2005-12-15 @ 12:41 p.m.

I thought I had nobody-how wrong I was. It really is true that you don't know what you're missing until you lose the things you have which mean the most to you. I thought I needed so much. & the truth is that I really didn't need much more than I had-I actually began to feel that you were all I needed. Then, you left. There's nothing to work out...I don't know why everyone can't just agree with me. Why don't you call they would say...Well I hope you motherfuckers are happy because it only made things worse & next time I'll know not to take advice from any of you. But now I really feel like I have nothing-at all. I'm dead inside & what good is it to kill myself if I'm already dead? It's extremely sad feeling for me right now. I cannot see myself feeling any worse than I already do. I'm a walking dead girl & I hate it. I see the same person I hated 3 years ago. Ugly, over-confident, cocky, & brutally in over my head. Look at me, fuck I'm ranting in school & I can't get by without ranting like that once a day anymore. I cannot look at anyone & feel the same way anymore because of what these people have done to me. Nobody is there for me. Nobody ever was. Except me, & you. But now you're gone. & I'm starting to think I don't think I can even be there for myself now. These people, they don't listen & they can't accept the truth. You aren't growing. You're becoming. Get used to it because it's the new you.

previous - next