2005-11-30 @ 10:05 p.m.

I feel so detached from everyone I have known & loved. It makes me get that feeling when you don't want to cry but you know you're going to because of the hard lump in your throat. The inevitable feelings. & I've lost something that means the world to me. & I don't know if I'll be able to recover it & bring it back. I have lost abilities too--not just people--but it would seem as though I did not acquire any new ones to replace them with. I'm losing all characteristics & yet everything is affecting my emotions.

I wish it was those I had lost.

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