my fascination
2005-07-06 @ 11:54 p.m.

Tonight...wow. I think it's still sinking in.
I know that I'm truly in love when my aggravation melts away just by looking at him. It's like everytime I see him again it feels like it's been forever. Everytime. I couldn't hold myself back from feeling this way. I still don't know what it was that stopped me from breaking down, right there, in his arms. & as the night went on I became more & more tired out. I got so tired I felt like it was effort to think about what made me this tired in the first place. Instead, I thought about what made me happy, You. & I drifted off. Only to be awoken what must have been moments later. & looking up, opening my heavy eyelids to see him. It felt like that was more right than anything we've ever done. & the timing was perfect when all I listened to was the beating of his heart & him telling me to go back to sleep. Just go back to sleep. It felt perfect. Then, I didn't know whether to be happy or sad because it was time for you to go. From the first minute we sat in the car until we got to your house, I didn't want to let you go. I couldn't look away from you. Your eyes. I kept thinking look at me, please look at me, & you never did. The whole time I just sat there, fascinated. & on the way back I figured maybe trying to chew 5 pieces of gum wasn't the best idea. But at least food at 11PM is good...wow, that was random.....I'm missing him already. Can you tell?

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