Digging my way out
2005-07-04 @ 9:04 p.m.

I know this should hurt, but after trying to forget about it, it doesnít seem like that big of a deal anymore, to have to pretend. But I am doing better. I havenít cried for 23 hours. I just keep telling myself itís going to be ok & I really have nothing to worry about. Itís not worth my time spent wasting tears. I had a hard time talking to them on the phone this morning. Yet another day Iíve been awoken by the phone. Itís not that I want them to stop calling, but I find it hard every morning to wake up hearing the ring of the phone & then end up answering, & having to hear their voice. It shows me I cannot trust anything they have to say. But then, when they call again, when the day is endingÖ theyíre happy. Theyíre happy enjoying their life & acting as if nothing was a big deal. But would they even change their mind if they knew how I felt?

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