& she's in love. which is exactly what she never expected to happen again. & she tries to help, but they don't listen. & she wishes for a better tomorrow, for them. not only for herself. & she could probably do better off on her own. & her hopes of something in psychology are shattered. just like her friendships & cares. & it's the regret before this, that makes her sad.
& she cursed herself for being what she was, why couldn't they spare her of insults? & she sunk into the world with no depth, just drowning in yourself & your thoughts. & her imagination grew to something even she could not condemn. & when the closest person to her said he liked skinny girls, she flipped through the pages in the magazines & looked at the pictures of the beauty queens, she realized she wasn't good enough. & she counted the cuts on her body by the end. 35. & she gave him something she shouldn't have. & it's this regret that makes her sad.