2005-04-12 @ 10:11 p.m.

The feeling of being numb and not having to care is how I recognize myself. After not getting that for so long, it shocked me how I was able to get by and snap out of it. So I can't help but think where I would be in the next week, hadn't I came out of the state I was in. I cannot however, put a label on that because there were so many mixed emotions in the past 3/4 months, but especially the last week, and I didn't know how to handle that. Because during that time, I became extremely sensitive and couldn't even decide on my own thoughts. I wonder now, what it even was that put me in that state for the first case. Because it sure as hell wasn't the same thing that got me out. ~ Why waste my energy?

Nothing seems worth it.

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