2005-02-27 @ 10:26 p.m.

One of the things I hate most is remembering. I hate looking back and thinking of the past. And I hate having so many regrets and knowing that I cannot change those things that once were. If I could remain static-and never go forward so I wouldn't have to remember, I probably would. But I can't. And I'm afraid that my hatred of the things that were will topple our relationship over. Trust is a big issue with me. I do not open up to people easily, therefore it takes me awhile to trust a person. But I expect people to trust me quickly, and with anything. No, I don't really like that about myself, and I sure as hell don't pride myself on it. But because of my past, things like that take a long time for me to change. Like it, or not. I'd love to trust you more, I really would. But something tells me not to. Maybe it's the fact that you sometimes out-shine me. I usually dislike people for that, you know. This is why I'm trying to be peaceful until the ground rules are layed. And if they aren't very soon, my claws just might lash out.

previous - next