2005-02-13 @ 10:29 p.m.

As of this moment I'm going to prepare myself for the worst. Because things need to get worse before they get better. These things hurt me deeply inside, especially when I have all the power but do not know how to use it. What I'm dreading now has come to me before-so this time I will need much more preparation for the killing that may come. Time and preparation to create protection for myself. For without protection, if what I'm dreading comes to be (yet again), I do not think I could handle it. Either way I'm guaranteed one thing=regret. As always. But this time, I've made my decision and it's too late to change my mind now. No matter how insecure I am with that.

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