2003-11-08 @ 7:56 p.m.

Something i noticed during this week was how i acted when it came time for me to trust somebody, or for them to trust me. I've always known that i have a very hard time trusting people. I even have a friend whom i've known for 4 years, & still, do not "officially" trust. I don't trust her, but expect her to trust me. I'm a very loyal & trustworthy person, even though i may lie & cheat to get to the end of the day. I look at life as full of obsticles, & missions. If i can make it through the day, i have completed a mission, & most likely, an obsticle as well.

Not only do i find it hard to trust others, but myself as well. It seems to me that i feel like i'm almost always wondering what would have happened had i made a different decision. Or took a new path, a different turn, another choice. One thing you will never hear me say is "I have no regrets" i am constantly wishing i had been more :fill_in_blank_here: or said something else, or put what i said in a different way. It's like i don't think the correct things through. I just blurt out any ol' thing that comes to mind, usually, it may be about somebody else. I don't care what they might or might not think. I consider that a very strong flaw.

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