OK so christmas season is less than twenty days away &nowhere near where I had planned to be in all aspects of my life. I thought by October I`d be securing my career in a general sense &moving forward until maybe two years away or so when I can move &establish myself: I have not done this. I wanted to be over everything I gargantuan amounts: I am not. I had intended to be past everything &spending tons of time with friends &boyfriends &family: nothing could be farther from the truth. &at the very least I wanted to be finished my christmas gift shopping: which I`m not, but hell - at least I`m close to that one.

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