The last few days haven't really been going over very well with me. I was starting to cheer up a little & then I crashed again. I don't know why but it feels like every girl's life here is a major tradgedy & I don't want to be one of those people anymore. I've got a life story that could probably traumatise you but for now I'll pretend I don't.
What's happening confuses me - I'm trying to get back to normal; trying to distance myself from people yet they won't let me get away. It's as if they want me around so they can hurt me over & over. Maybe it's just an error in my thinking that makes these things reoccur - but I'm not one to place blame on people.
Especially people that aren't me.

Life is getting hard. I haven't forgotten what it's like to be happy because when I am - that's when I lose it. When it gets taken away & I am bombarded with more obstacles. I don't know how to go about my life & way of thinking anymore... I sort of wish I could just stop altogether.
I need to deattach myself from everyone & it might be harder than I thought. I miss being numb & not caring, but since I turned 13 caring [about everything] consumed my life & I haven't been the same.