&today all of the sudden a smile hit my face when you're name was mentioned. I couldn't help it I just smiled, &it must have been the widest, truest smile that I've had in a very long time. Just smiling for a reason again made me happy in an instant.
Since then you're image has kept coming into my head & I can't get it out. &someone asked me why I was smiling - I didn't answer, but now I know why. I don't think I've come to terms with it yet but just being able to be happy when I think of you now tells me that I'm getting better. But then again when I can't get you out of my head after those memories are mentioned I realize that I am still hurting. If I could turn back time & change it all I would.
No I don't want you Mr. October. This entry is for someone who I think I've loved &felt quite a bit more emotion for than you. I can't come to terms with my mistakes - I will never accept them.
Disclaimer
It is your choice whether or not to read this diary. The most I can ask is that you do not question me about it - I would rather not know if you have been reading it at all or even how you came to find it. Everything I have posted in this diary is what I had been thinking at the exact time I posted it. This diary is for me personally, and me alone. If I have written something you dislike: stop reading.
5:50P
I'm still hurting
