I went out sometime this afternoon &looked at a couple of apartments. Definately no. &I realise that I cannot be extremely picky, I'm not living on my own &all of us need to have something. We'll see how this turns out but I we cannot be too picky or else we'll still be going nowhere in November. I'm just glad this is working out as great as I'd expected. It's the first of July &already things are happening like I wish them to.
So I'm eating a chocolate bar now, hoping for something interesting to happen in the next few moments but I don't see any signs so far. I'm listening to the sound of a movie running downstairs &somebody really givin it on the other side of the wall... When we were standing there tonight, all I could think about was him. &how everything all played out only a year before. I let all the memories flood back in. But even the boys who were high still thought the fireworks sucked. By this time though, I didn't really have the energy to concentrate on them enough to appreciate how pretty they were.
I really should be sending out some emails now... but I'm not exactly in the mood. I would rather talk to someone in person right now... I need to be held one more time, even if I never felt it again I just want a goodbye or a hello. I need closure, reassurance, or hope. But I don't feel as if I have any of those right now. &I desire it. I'll find him someday, I'm just not ready. &when you said "we need to get you a boy" tonight... the only thought that lingered in my mind was No.