2006-06-04 @ 11:11P.
There are only a few days left before exams being &now every morning I see Jeff with or waiting for his girlfriend at the bus stop. He must have noticed me staring because he hasn't even touched her when he knows I'm nearby for the past week. I'll just be hating it in the summer - wondering how he feels about her &hoping to God that Justin isn't doing the same thing. I do appreciate his curtosy, Jeff knows that he's hurt me &is trying not to. I admire that, but I'm glad he's found something more, someone who is obviously: better than me. &I would rather him be with that girl [who he really seems to care for A LOT] than some other brat who I know &dislike. But a little surprisingly; I feel pretty confident I'll be with someone come October. Or at least I'm hoping so. I want an easy-going, no pressure relationship for senior year. But I probably won't be that lucky. Since I can't seem to get that high school romance I always dreamed of. I'll at least want to date someone just to make the year fun &say goodbye when it's over. Well at least right now, that's how it looks. But at the same time, if love tried to spring me again I would be just as inviting.
It's nice to have a period when you stop caring. But ti's just as well to know you're living for someone who loves you. I want someone else to be the reason I get up &dressed every morning. I want to do my hair &makeup specially for someone important in my life. &most of all, at this point I just want to know if anybody even cares.
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