The last couple of days aside from Friday &the dance have been pretty heartbreaking for me. I won't say why they've been so bad because I'm not ready to talk about it &it's hard for me to stop crying once I start. I don't thik being on so many medications at once is very healthy for me either but I find I'm making myself sick even writing about how I feel right now so this entry won't be much longer. But lack of love &phone calls or conversations with the people I love really gets me down. Sometimes I wonder if when they say they've "gotta go" if they really do or if they just don't feel like talking to me anymore. I'm breaking down &I haven't heard anyone say they love me for quite a long time. It used to be a regular thing with my family but even them I don't get it from &I wonder if something's changed in me that makes me impossible to love.
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