I was talking or at least trying to with dad last night. But me, being stupid, decided to start during the hockey game. I don't think he really listened to one word I spoke & it hurts. I thought I would always, at the very least have my family to be there for me when life got hard. If I feel spontaneous I'll try mom tomorrow & if all else fails there's always the dog... or cat. I feel so ignored - like nobody would care tomorrow if I died. Nobody really realizes how badly I'm hurt-or if they do they just don't care enough to approach me. Well two people might care, but they'd be the guys who know me the best. & one of them isn't even living in this province anymore. Buddy, if you read this - I sent you an email & I can't talk this Friday. Speaking of this friday, it's finally another big dance night & hopefully the whole gang decides to go. I'll probably be the only sober one but hey, that gives me an excuse to be as skanky as I want - then I can rub it in their faces. Just kidding - okay maybe only half kidding. But being on a short diet of soup & sandwiches can make a girl just a little emotional - & needy. The coke & huge slice of pizza I had yesterday for lunch must count for something. It'll all be worth it when I can fit into my outfit & none of the other girls can! hehe, I'm mean I know.
I was sitting in class today & it hit me that I really do wanna graduate. I'd love to get away from the immature people & the everyday drama. I want to create my own life & be an independent person. The more I thought about it the more I can't wait to get out.

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