I've been writing entries like mad lately because the pain is pretty well flowing out of me like a fucking river & if I don't write I'll think about it for the rest of the weekend. Instead of trying to write entirely positive entries (which completely goes against all my reasons for having a diary) I'm going to attempt to write one positive point about something, as suggested by a friend, about something that happened within the week.

teacher interviews were this weekend & I'm very relieved that my parents didn't choose to attend. Even if they had gone they would only see two of my teachers anyway so there wasn't really a point. I hate it because every time my parents go it's like they suddenly want to take a huge interest & part in my life. when they never do for the rest of the year. never ask me whats going on unless its about the people im with or my grades. then the teacher ends up telling them things i didn't want them to know & them to my teachers.

So our neighbors seem to be going through a weird phase. Either that or they're so burnt out from drugs that they can't think clearly. But anyway here's the deal: they got a dog maybe a couple of months ago. It's a golden lab & they don't take it for walks anywhere besides on our property. Now they've had some guests staying with them for maybe a little over a week, who also have a lab, just chocolate in colour. One morning about a week ago, I wake up & look out my window to find two guys in the backyard cutting some metal piece of shit in half. This object then remained in the yard for about week until today. When I've found garbage bags laying beside this tin can thing all of the bushes/flowers/plant life starts to disappear. Today they were outside for approximately eight hours burning everything they had collected. So the yard now looks like a dead zone but I don't really care as long as they're having fun. This just makes me want to move more. Another thing that happened on Friday was when I came home from 'shopping' [wandering aimlessly in a mall with my so called 'friend'] there were our landlords in the backyard. Next thing you know there's a knock on the door & they want to measure the rooms. Like I've stated before they've wanted to install new hardwood flooring in various rooms throughout the house which just gives us another reason to want to move. So anyway I guess my room isn't getting new flooring anymore but it'll probably be another two months by the time they start this project & hopefully we'll at least be packed & be ready with a new place by then .

I've written so many entries lately the thoughts are pouring out of my head. I want to change my way of thinking but I need to figure out a new goal for me to make. I guess - looking back on this entry - that maybe it should moving out of this place? I dunno...

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