I couldn't break my record. I cried myself to sleep again last night. & I listened to the sound of rain tapping the ground outside & wondered why that sound didn't seem as pleasing to me anymore as it once did. The streetlamps instead of the moonlight shone through my window this time as I cried & I wondered if this is the real me. & still at this moment if there is something wrong with me-I felt as if I did not know who I was & then I remembered why I write in this diary: to understand myself & my feelings better. Why do I feel the way I feel? I don't add entries for anyone else but I think a part of me wishes or thinks that I should. I have a feeling that I'm going to remain alone & I want that feeling to go away. I fear that I will be stagnant.

updated letters.

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