2006-03-03 @ 9:20 p.m.
Tell me what I want to hear. Because we all know I don't have the guts to put it to my head & pull the trigger.
You know you don't have to be here to stop me & I hate that. I wish you would come back. I can't even remember the last time we talked man! I'm not angry, just hopeless. I said I'd try again for you the first time - but I cannot make that promise again. I knew I wouldn't be good enough... I just wish I knew what I had to improve on. You've told me yourself before - you cannot learn from your mistake if you do not know what your mistake is.
I want to know my fucking mistake damnit! Was it simply being born? I don't care I want to hear it. I want to know the truth...but I probably never will. & I cannot see it happening to me again. The one dream I only ever had isn't going to happen - unless it's with you. I hope you aren't reading this but I'm falling for you. I always knew I was in a way. I dreamt about what it would be like if we dated. But I thought it would ruin our friendship so I stayed away, thinking that maybe someday you would speak up. But you won't. So in case you are reading this I'll play on our insider & hopefully won't shock you: I think I love you seth. I just wish our story was more of a fairytale than a horror movie script.
Just tell me what I want to hear. We both know neither of my other loves are coming back...
((added to the letters page & changed links to the left))
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