Yesterday was quite a normal day for me despite the disappointment of not having anyone to share it with. But that only saves me from the whole commercialism of the day [which I try not to fall into anyway]. I'm finally hopeless now. Officially I've come to the conclusion that I'm lost without love. I'm just like everyone else in the slightest way. With so much wisdom of a person who knows nothing, making complete nonsense. Simple answer= my soul is confused & it hurts. So many times I have wanted to cry instead of smile. But I can't bare that bitter-naked truth of what I truly am to people that don't care about me anymore. You aren't here anymore seth---there's nothing stopping me this time but a promise & the hope that I might get to see your face again. & there's always love to look forward. Yeah right. As if it will happen again anyway.

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