I’ve earned nothing

It was hard to look you in the eyes.
And it was hard to think that you destroyed my life and saved it at the same time.
It’s hard to admit you helped me in life,
Because that thought is much too embarrassing.

It’s hard to say I miss you
It’s hard to say I loved you
It’s hard to admit that I’d be with you now, if only you came crawling back to me.
But you won’t,
And you don’t play my game like that.

It’s hard to think about the positives, the negatives, and everything in between
It’s hard to remember what happened
It’s hard not to regret the time we spent together, the things we did
It’s hard to know that at first I thought I was a failure for letting you go
I thought I had ruined myself for one mistake that would affect the rest of my life
Everything changed after you walked out

After you walked out,
Everything changed
And I’m not the same.

Well guess what?
It’s not hard to tell you what I mean
It’s not hard to say whom I love
It’s easy for me to be myself now
Now that you’re gone

Now that you’re gone
I have nothing left to give
No simple friendship
No smiles
No affection
No love

Now that you’re gone
I have nothing I can take
Nothing to receive

You were the best and worst thing that happened to me.
Now that you’re gone,
And I’m not the same.

And it’s going to be hard to say goodbye.
But I have a feeling I’ll need to get past the hurt soon, and say it.
Say the goodbye I couldn’t to you.
But now that you’re gone,
It won’t be hard to.