"its bliss to be alone"
emotions are a thing all great men overcame
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It is your choice whether or not to read this diary. The most I can ask is that you do not question me about it - I would rather not know if you have been reading it at all or even how you came to find it. Everything I have posted in this diary is what I had been thinking at the exact time I posted it. This diary is for me personally, and me alone. If I have written something you dislike: stop reading.

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Host: DLand

7:40 p.m.
Living for Nothing

Chimaira-Crawl
As I lay this all to rest
Shadows appear reminding me
Of all things left unsaid by me

Maybe one day you'll believe
That I will crawl
I will crawl on broken knees

It's beyond what you really need
Forcing it all out of you
Will I make your life complete
Come clean

Am I the sorrow
that you won't reap
Am I the secret
that you can't keep
Well I won't stop
until I'm complete
And I won't stop
until you believe
I won't stop until you need me

Everyone needs to experience two kinds of love before they find the one. The first is the love that breaks you. It's so strong it takes every piece of your soul to leave it because you know it's toxic and you can't live with it for just one more moment, your almost dead inside. And yet, to leave it seems almost as soul shattering. But in the shards, in those pieces that fall apart there's the love that picks you up and holds your pieces together until you can do it yourself. The love that shows you how to start over. The love that teaches you that you will wake up the next day. And though you might think this love is the one, it's not. It is too dependant on that glue, that holding together of your soul. That love too will end. It will end when you've learnt to live again. But neither love is in vain. Each one teaches you essential lessons you need to really love with the core of your soul. Because now your soul has been torn apart, your lowest moments exposed to one that wishes nothing but to hurt, controll and manipulate. And when your soul has been sown together and taught that it is ok to tear yourself away from that toxic love and learn who you are all over again. First you learn to crawl, and then slowly you take your first steps. It teaches you that you can and will be loved. Because you deserve it. Because you in your entirety, is the definition of beauty, love and life. Then, and only then, are you ready to experience the one.

I read that^ somewhere…
Agree with it?
Yeah, right.

2005-06-03

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