I refuse to lose sleep over this crap that shouldn't even be happening. But I'm forced to hang onto it because unlike some people, I learn from my mistakes and adjust accordingly.
It hit me like concrete that maybe I'm not doing what's best for me. But then again, do I even want that? I think what I truly want, regardless of what I tell people, is to be appreciated for being passionate in nearly everything I do.
You cannot paint a mask over me because my personality will shine through. But can I be replaced? If I died tonight, would anybody care and want me back? Or would it be finished and over with R.I.P and somebody else takes my place in life? I want to be known for having an impact on others in a positive way. So if nobody care about me, what's the point in having these goals? It's kind of sad in a way, because they pretend that they do. Creating a new world over with lies.
And I'm left with nothing. Not even a feeling.