I feel like such a cynic. And I'm not. I know I'm not. Well, not really. I mean, it's not like I try to be. I feel unhealthy, and unwanted. I feel like I'm restricted to some rule book. "The rules to live by" and to die by. As if I'm in a competition. It's as if I'm trying to be the best. To beat everyone else. To be a slave to myself, and obey, only one. Person that is.

And I thought they were fake.

How many times can 1 person be stabbed before they die? Who else has a violence fettish? It's more than those in the movies.
How could anybody live that way?

This Is My Sickness